Good Morning Internet

Comedy News, Beer Reviews, and a hopeful outlook.

EP 84: Road head from your robot wife in your driverless car.


Fuuutuuuure!

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Man Gets Wedding Ring Stuck on Penis
Human Drivers Will Bully Robot Cars
Real Estate Agent Gifts Free Adoptions From San Francisco Shelter
Man Tries to Use Cheetos to Burn Ex's House

Beer: Stone IPA
Beer: Ballast Point’s Calm Before the Storm
Wine: Monkey Bay’s Sauvignon Blanc

EP 83: Cool Ranch Dorito Nipples


A third episode in one day?! We’re already drunk, but we must go deeper!
We talk ethics of AI, ethics of splicing two sharks together, and finding nuclear weapons in the ocean!

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Man Jailed After Stealing Potato Chips in a Wheelbarrow
Snake Slithers Out of Ceiling of Plane
Two Headed Sharks Becoming More Common
Man Finds Nuclear Weapon Off Canada's West Coast
Researchers Question if Banning "Killer Robots" Will be Effective

EP 82: Beer Pirates of the Great Salt Lake


No longer is Christian a mere Magisterial Shaman, but he has ascended alongside Neil to the rank of “Beer Pirate”. In other news, the foot lickers and killer squirrels have returned!

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Japanese Cops Arrest Serial Foot Licker
Spanish Government Attempts to Ban Memes
Man Claims to be Vampire After Assaulting Woman
Three Injured After Squirrel Attack
Advice: What should I do with my KFC?

Beer: Prost Brewing’s Weissbier
Wine: Seaglass Sovereign Blanc

EP 81: Please hire us, Pornhub!


Christian can’t prove he’s not Jesus.
GMI apologizes to everywhere not America. Take an apology card, or print one and send it to a non-american!

trumpcard1 trumpcard3

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Pornhub Offers to Buy Vine
Apple Asks Customer; "Prove to us you're not Saddam Hussain."
Clown Lives Matter Rally Cancelled After Death Threats

Beer: Squatter’s Hell’s Keep
Wine: Dark Horse Chardonney

EP 80: Christian steals all the things!


The future of sex robots and mankind itself is up to us!

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Girl Scouts Unveil Breakfast Cereal Cookies
Man Tries To Pay For Sex with a McDonald's Meal
Malaysia Bans Sex Robot Conference
Woman Selling Her Virginity for $200K

Beer: Wasatch Brewery’s Blackolantern
Beer: Sam Adam’s Cream Stout

EP 79: We’ll give everyone who subscribes a blowjob!*


Christian sides with grievances of the 1%, then later debates if he would let Madonna give him a blowjob!

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

"Rich Kids" App Costs $1000 a Month
Madonna Offers Oral Sex for Votes for Hillary
Man on LSD Saves Dog from Imaginary Fire
Man Says He'd Rather Die than Watch Another Debate, Then Dies

Beer: Ritual Red Ale
Beer: Sierra Nevada’s 2016 Oktoberfest
Bitch: Redd’s Wicked Mango
Wine: La Vieille Ferme Rose

*No we won’t. But please tell a friend about the show!

EP 78: The episode where Neil doesn’t vomit.


This week we declare our support of using porn as an educational tool. In fact, we’re now more determined than ever to open up an educational porn studio! Will you support our Kickstarter campaign? (No, we don’t really have a Kickstarter campaign. Yet.)

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Covergirl Announces First Male Spokesmodel
101 Biggest Product Failures of All Time
Houston 911 Operator Hangs Up on Callers
Dame Jenni Murray Wants to Scrap Sex Ed for Educational Porn

Beer: Anderson Valley’s Fall Hornin Ale
Malt: Redd’s Wicked Black Cherry
Wine: Meridian Vinyard’s Pinot Noir

EP 77: So much shouting!


If you’re not a snitch, this episode won’t bother you.

Additional Content:
-Cut Segment of today’s episode is on the extras page!
GMI Plays Magicka 2.
GMI Plays Pit People.

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Man Impersonating Police Officer Pulls Over Undercover Cop
Martin Shkreli Wants to Buy 4chan
Florida Man Dies in Meth Lab Explosion
Women Arrested After Posting "Snitches Get Searched" Sign
Advice: What tattoo should I get?
Advice: How can I be less introverted?
Advice: Can a country boy and city girl make it?

Beer: New Belgium’s Pumpkick
Beer: Lienenkugel’s Summer Wheat
Malt: Angry Orchard’s Apple Cinnamon
Wine: Alice White’s Lexia Moscato

EP 76: Crowd-sourcing a punch to the face!


Christian surpasses gets a lot closer to Neil’s enthusiasm for beer! Would you prefer $5000 lump payment or one pizza a week for a year?

Intro/outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Woman Receives Five-Thousand Dollars in Lieu of Pizza
Martin Shkreli Auctions a Punch to His Face
Bikers Support Abused Children in Court
Man Spends 43 Years in Wheelchair After Wrong Diagnosis
Advice: A girl likes me!

Beer: Uintah Brewing – Monk Shine Ale
Beer: Samuel Adam’s Oktoberfest
Wine: Barefoot – Red Moscatto
Wine: Barefoot – Crisp Red Spritzer

EP 75: For old time’s sake.


To understand the future, you have to go back in time.
This week we revisit old favorites with some new information, and also invest in the latest fast food trends!

Intro/outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Florida Teen Who Posed As a Doctor, Arrested Again
Chinese Billionaire Buys 8 iPhone 7s for His Dog
Man Patents the “Hamdog”
Florida Man Dumps Semen on Woman at Restaurant
Advice: What do I call my new girlfriend?

Beer: Uintah Brewery’s Anniversary – Barley Wine Ale
Beer: Leinenkugel’s Beergarten Tart
Wine: Momo Kaka Ruby – Sake