Good Morning Internet

Comedy News, Beer Reviews, and a hopeful outlook.

EP 74: Podcasting on meth.

This Week, Christian and Neil are contractually obliged to tell you to stop kissing chickens. We also do not advocate using our newest drug.

Intro/outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

CDC Warns About Dangers of Kissing Chickens
80% of Truck Drivers in Battambang are on Meth
Masturbation Legalized in Italy

Advice: Walked in on my wife and her friend with their pants off.
Advice: Boyfriend stopped texting me two weeks ago.

Beer: New Belgium’s Heavy Melon
Beer: Uintah Brewing Co’s Punk’n
Beer: Leinenkugel’s Fall Shandy
Wine: Kikkoman’s Plum Wine

EP 73: Bring back your childhood with LSD!

Christian and Neil talk about Salt Lake Comic Con, painting dogs, and watchlisting all red-heads!

SLC ComicCon 2016 - Twisted Toonz

Project Aims to Map All the Redheads in the World
Man Breaks into Home, Paints Dog Purple
Man Robs Bank, Says He Prefers Jail to Life with His Wife

Ask GMI: My wife won't let me contact my ex-girlfriend from twenty years ago.
Ask GMI: I spend way too much time on downloading and organizing my porn.

Beer: Dechute’s Brewery – Armory XPA – Pale Ale
Wine: Corbette Canyon – Chardonney

EP 72: Sriracha Morning Internet

This week we’re faced with all new challenges, including psychics, bat licking, whale vomit, and a town with a very long name.

105 Year Old Woman Requests Firefighters for Birthday
Whale Vomit Makes British Family Rich
Teens Lick Bats, Don't Get High
Sriracha Creator Never Trademarked its Name

Beer: Fireman’s Brew – Red Amber Ale
Wine: Underwood – Pinot Noir
Wine: Flip Flop – Pinot Noir

EP 71: Are we absolutely certain that bees are endangered?

If bees are do endangered, why are we making such a big deal of removing them from our hospitals?! #BeeConspiracy
This is the most typical GMI episode to date!

Intro/outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

100,000 Bees Removed from Cardiff Hospital
F-22 Raptor Grounded After Bees Infest Engine
Man Breaks into Fairground Beer Tent
Man Arrested After Having Sex with Van

Beer: Rogue Brewery Sriracha Stout
Wine: Squadra Rosado

EP 70: This one goes out to the women!

This episode, no boys allowed! Or do. We can’t really stop you…
We talk sex, past present and future. Get yo freak on, girl!

Intro/outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Dennis Rodman has Broken his Penis Three Times
VR Porn Sex Education
90 Year Old Man Hires Prostitute
Man Doses his Boss with Viagra

Beer: Orion – Imported from Okinawa Japan
Wine: The Wolftrap – Syrah

EP 69: Fapman, the hero we don’t deserve.

New parenting technique may be effective, but at what cost? Also check out our Extras page! After over sixty episodes, we finally have another bit removed in post that may be worth sharing. Or not, you decide. Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you! LA Mom Uses “Hypno Therapy” on Her Kids Jai Courtney Took Shrooms to …

EP 68: Bad erotica to read during cryostasis.

This week we’re discussing the preservation of humanity. Brain backups, cryostasis, and flash frozen sperm!
We also discuss the rise in escort sales during the RNC.

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Bad Sex in Fiction Awards
Male Escort are Making Crazy Money During the RNC
Man Find Woman Living in His Attic
Texas Will Build a Cryogenic Village

Beer: Mississippi Mud
Wine: Kung Fu Girl – Riesling

EP66 & EP67: Virtual reality porn obsession and Pokemon!

…two completely different things, we promise! We are not Rule 34-ing Pokemon! We know there may be some of you into that, but that’s not what this is about! Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you! Guest Hosts: Rae and Mango Japan VR Porn Festival Overcrowded Teen Find Body While Playing Pokemon GO Summertime Tips for Swass …

EP 65: Haunted Studio

Christian and Neil have an unexpected guest on the show.

Guest Host: “Casper”
Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Drunk Woman Arrested After Taco Bell Dispute
Man Caught Having Sex with Road
Man Drives Through Snail Slime, Flips Car
Gawker CEO Offered $35K to do Hulk Hogan Themed Porno

Beer: Uintah Brewery’s Monkshine
Malt: Not Your Father’s Ginger Ale
Wine: Toasted Head Chardonney

EP 64: Why white people are awful.

It’s revealed that Neil has no constitution and that he probably hates white people.

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Woman Robs Man While Performing Oral Sex with Him
Naked Sword Wielding Man Arrested
Waitress Upset Over 'Best Butt' Award
Naked Man Scares Customers in Waffle House
Internet Loan Sharks Demand Nude Pics for 'Security'

Beer: Sam Adam’s Cherry Wheat Ale
Beer: Sam Adam’s Summer Ale
Wine: A to Z – Pinoit Noir
Wine: St. Kilda – Chardonnay
Wine: 14 Hands – Merlow