Good Morning Internet

Comedy News, Beer Reviews, and a hopeful outlook.

EP 63: Witches, Ghosts, and Beer!

Enjoy a beer with your wife, your dog, and your kids!
…ok, not your kids…

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Hostess Owner Buys Playboy Mansion
Man Burns his House Down Because of Neighbor's Loud Sex
Alabama Children Eat Too Many Laundry Detergent Pods
Witches Hex Brock Turner
Beer Company Brews Beer For Dogs
Bobby Brown Claims to have had Sex with a Ghost

Beer: Pranqster
Wine: Zen Zin

EP 62: Porn Stars on Social Media

Christian and Neil delve deep into each other’s personal pornography viewing habits, forever changing how they look at each other.

Intro/outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Boy Finds Kinder Egg Full of Meth
Man Paid to Travel the World Tasting Beer
Man Claims His Twenty-Nine Miley Cyrus Tattoos are Why He's Single
Python Slither Out of Toilet and Bites Man's Penis
Man Arrested for Tickling People's Anuses
Twenty-Thousand Bees Pursue Car After Queen Gets Stuck in Trunk

Beer: Wasatch Brewery’s Ghost Rider
Beer: Ommegang’s Seven Kingdoms
Wine: Fat Bastard

EP 61: Mythril, Turtles, Adamantium

This week, Neil adopts a box of squirrels. Christian adopts a hungry pelican. Shayla adopts a brain damaged turtle.

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Man Arrested with Marijuana, Gun, and a Box of Squirrels
Naked Man Rescued from Chimney
Flying Koopa Turtle Crashes Through Car Window
Hustler Responds to Utah's "Porn Crisis"
Study Find Pornography Brings you Closer to God
Australian Olympic Athletes Issued "Super Condoms"

Beer: Pelican Cream Ale
Wine: Innocent Bystander Moscato
Malt: Koney Island Orange Cream Soda

EP 60: In which Jesus took the wheel.

Christian and Neil take it upon themselves to determine who is and isn’t allowed to breed anymore.

Intro/Outro by Garlagan! Thank you!

70 Year Old Man set to Row from NYC to England
Woman Causes Ten Car Pile Up after seeing Jesus in her KitKat Bar
Teen With Face Tattoo Wanted for Jerking Off on a Train, Again
Dating Website to Match Canadians with Americans if Trump Becomes President
Man Shoots Himself But Doesn't Realize it for Three Days

Beer: Anchor Summer Wheat
Wine: Goats Do Roam
Malt: Smirnoff Ice Spiked Screwdriver

EP 59: More bees spilled on more freeways than any other country!

New technology can be so liberating! Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you! 11-Year Old Shoots Home Invader, Calls Him a “baby” Florida Lawyer Disbarred for Having Sex and Doing Cocaine with Clients Driverless Cars Mean More Sex Behind the Wheel Mustachio’d Cop Adopts Kitten, Receives Tons of Marriage Proposals Police Ask People to Stop Texting Drug …

EP 58: Sad Unpopular Republicans

Will you trade your Charizard for my Oddish?

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Female Ted Cruz Lookalike Agrees to do Porno
Sedona, Arizona Probably Doesn't Exist
Coast Guard Rescues Man in Bubble
Man Drives Drunk to Taxi Company Interview
Woman Sues Sperm Bank for Giving Her Wrong Man's Sperm

Beer: 24K Golden Ale
Wine: 19 Criminals

EP 57: Emergency Swans

A crucial part of your emergency 48-Hour kit!

Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you!

Badger Drinks Beer, Passes Out for Two Days
Man Steals Food, Claims to be from the Future
Utah Declared Porn a Public Health Hazard
Sleeping Woman Covered in Lotion as She Slept on Flight
Midwife Rides Inflatable Swan Through Flood to Deliver Baby
Restaurant Will Save You From Bad Tinder Date
Something Something Pot Protest, Puff the Magic Dragon
Woman Addicted to Having Sex Ten Times a Day

Beer:┬áHumbolt – Red Nector
Malt: Mike’s Hard Watermelon
Wine: Mouton Cadet

EP 56: The Saga of Christian’s Penis

From cocaine breakfast cereals to penis museums, and dogs that can fly. Everything gets flipped on its head this episode with guest hosts; Shayla and Rachel taking the spotlight and shining it where it doesn’t belong! Intro/Outro by Garlagan. Thank you! Man Breaks into Five Guys to Make a Cheeseburger Identical Twin Brothers get Plastic …

EP 55: We cross the line.

We don’t hold back in this episode. Nobody is safe.

Teacher Fired After Letting Students Smoke Pot in Class
Flight Attendant Flees, Abandoning 60lbs of Cocaine at Checkpoint
Dog Brings Home Big Bag of Marijuana
Teacher Arrested for Having Sexual Relations with Student, Two Days After Wife Arrested on Same Charge
Polish Brewery Kickstarts to Create Beer using Czech Model’s Vaginal Bacteria
State Department Issues Travel Warning for Ugly People

Beer: Samuel Smith’s Nut Brown Ale

Wine: Red Guitar Sangria

Malt: Mike’s Hard Raspberry Elderberry

EP 54: Trouser Snakes

Feeling insecure?

Man Throws 13ft Python at Sushi Restaurant Patrons
Woman Sets Crotch on Fire During Dance Competition
Oregon Man Steals Snake by Stuffing it Down His Trousers
11-Year Old Boy Steals Cement Mixer and Goes on High-Speed Chase

Beer: Firestone Ale
Malt: Henry Winehard’s Hard Ginger Ale
Wine: Rex Goliath -Chiraz